Title: The Birds Plus the Team
Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, and the Team.
Summary: Jason interrupts the Team’s game of Go Fish to announce that he is going to adopt the mini-Grayson and lets just say that fate will not let that happen.
A/N: Posting this while working on the fourth part. I don’t know what’s happening anymore.
Tim Drake decided that if he was going to have to do all the work, he was going to do it as slow as possible to drive his brothers insane—particularly Damian. This led to him going on as many crazy tangents—and by tangents, he meant just playing games with the Team. Like Go Fish, for example. He sat cross-legged on the couch with a circle consisting of him, Kon, Artemis, Kaldur, Wally, and M’gann.
“Kon, do you have an eight?” Tim asked.
“I still do not understand the implications of this game. Why do we not go fish when he asks us to?” Kaldur asked.
Tim sighed and dug his face into his palm. Monopoly hadn’t gone any better when the mini-Grayson decided to go full out mini-Bruce Wayne mode and arrived in a suit and everything. It was mentally scaring for the rest of the Team.
He thinks the Team nearly fell apart from playing Mafia.
Superboy also did not understand the game Screw Your Neighbor did not literally mean to screw your neighbor. He’s just glad that he didn’t follow through with the game—he’s pretty sure the neighbors to the mountain own a sheep farm.
Tim glanced up to see that Damian was busy sulking the corner with Wolf. He was the only thing that Damian would get near in the cave. He said that everything else was “teaming with abnormalities of a different dimension” and that he couldn’t let it “blemish his genetically perfect standards.”
Even when they’re stranded in a different dimension, Damian still manages to be a little shit.
“This is horrid. Where has Grayson and Crowbar-boy gone to? I expect them to come back and beat some sense into you, Drake. Shouldn’t you be finding a way for us to get back home to my proper mother and father, not playing some menial game with these dolts.”
Tim rolled his eyes, “Why don’t you try to find a way home?”
Artemis leaned over to Tim, “Is he allowed to swear like that?”
Damian narrowed his eyes, “My hearing has been trained to be acute. Don’t think because you are leaning towards Drake that I cannot hear you, assassin. I know of your true bloodlines, you are my territory, now under my pedigree and future entitlement of Batman and leader of the Shadows, I demand that you do not talk to Drake and find Grayson and Todd.”
“That pedigree thing only works for dogs, dude,” Wally snorted. “Got any fours, Arty-baby?”
“My father will not be pleased, Drake, to find out that you just dilly-dallied instead of finding a way to get me home!”
“Give little me back, Jaaaaay-sooooon!” a long wine was heard throughout the room. Tim sighed and put his cards down. Everything was about to get a lot more annoying.
Dick and Jason came strolling into the room—except it wasn’t really strolling. Jason was being a cocky-ass jerk and basically pranced into the room, whilst Dick was basically stepping on his heels with every step. Jason was caring mini-Grayson—Tim had almost called him mini-Dick, but his inner prude nearly suffocated him by that statement—by the scruff of his jacket.
Tim was shocked.
Jason…he had gone too far this time.
This was the best day of Tim’s life.
He had dressed the mini-Grayson up in full out mini-Red Hood dress. Everything. He had on the same underneath suit that Jason had—the red bat symbol and all. They had matching jackets.
They even had matching hoods.
This was why Tim was never going to find a way home—this was just too goddamn entertaining to pass up.
Jason smirked and shook mini-Grayson by the scruff of his jacket. “I think he looks great now.”
Dick nearly had a heart attack and let his arms have a mind of their own as they spazzed around, “You dressed him up like yourself!”
“Well. He looks better than a little circus rat like you.”
“Circus rat? I own that circus now, and what do you own?”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“At least I don’t strut around Blüdhaven in fucking spandex with my ass being my number one tool in defeating bad guys.”
“Says the guy who just shoots people.”
“Harper told me about how you like to choke people with your thighs and don’t even get me started with all the kinks Kory told me you—“ before Jason could finish, Dick threw his hand over Jason’s mouth.
“Stop trying to corrupt mini-me. He’s too precious.”
Tim smirked knowing that that wasn’t the case at all. The mini-Grayson was playing the two older boys. He was just there for the show while the other two fought over him. The Dick Grayson was so devious in this universe.
He’s just glad that Damian hasn’t had any time to interact with this new, satanic Dick.
The two older boys had a stare-off until the zeta beams announced the arrival of Batman. Jason immediately turned away and turned to smirk at Batman.
“I’m adopting Grayson,” he announced.
Everyone in the cave nearly chocked on whatever they were eating. Although, since they weren’t eating anything it didn’t really have a visible effect.
That was the first time that Tim had seen the mini-Grayson panic. “W-Wait, what?”
Jason just smirked as Bats’ narrowed his eyes, “I’ve already filled the papers on this Earth. I’m adopting him. Who knew that a ten-year old kid could adopt a thirteen-year old kid with the right paper work?”
Dick dropped to the floor and clutched his head. “I’m so sorry, Mom and Dad. I let you down. Oh God…Jason’s so corrupt. Mommy, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered on the floor.
Batman narrowed his eyes. “No.”
Tim’s pretty sure that most of the people in the room had tears in their eyes.
Jason scoffed, “Fuck off, Bruce. I’m going to raise this one right.”
“Don’t even try that with me. You’ve failed too many times. Grayson’s a chronic sex addict who has a fetish for red heads and bondage. I fucking died and then you let the guy who killed me go kill other people. Tim…Jesus. Do I need to go on what happened with Tim?”
“Jason, you do realize that this isn’t our Batman and he has no idea what you’re talking about.”
“…I didn’t ask for your opinion replacement. Stephanie ‘died’ too, and she was a girl and the only person that will ever look past Tim’s inability to have a personality and like him for it. Damian. Well, he told you that you were better off dead and he’s your own son.”
Jason ranted on for a couple more minutes—shaking mini-Grayson for good measure. He would be lucky that from this experience if he didn’t walk away with concussion.
“I’m adopting him and there’s nothing you—“
There was a flash of light and that buzzing noise when you have a concussion on games like Fallout. The world slowly dulled down until all four boys could see again.
Jason was suddenly holding a full sized Nightwing. “What the fu—“ Jason dropped the boy—man—thing onto the ground. Tim looked around to notice that the entire Team that had occupied the room was suddenly different. Artemis wasn’t sitting next to him anymore. Instead it was Cassie, Jaime, Beast Boy, an older looking M’gann, and Robin—oh God, was that him?
This is why Tim doesn’t like going to different dimensions.
Once one thing is messed up, everything else decides to follow suit.
Tim groaned and threw his hands over his face. Maybe he should be working to find a way home…
“Did we just…”
“He was tiny…”
“I wanted to adopt him…”
“Did we just go through a…”
Jason snorted, “What? Does this place just go through a random Time Skip every six months or something?”
“This is idiotic!” Damian shouted finally coming out of his corner. “I was taller than this Grayson and now he’s back to being the same dumbass size!” he ran over to the mini-now-bigger-Grayson and tried to punch him in the face, but he managed to stop Damian.
“Okay, what’s going on? Who are these people?” he asked.
Jason choked out a cough, “His voice is still squeaky.”
“Um, is this me?” Tim mumbled pointing to the awkwardly placed boy across from him.
“Did they skip me? Am I dead?”
“Aww, mini-Timmy! He’s absolutely adorable! Look at his little tuft of hair!” Dick cooed and finally got up from the ground. The other Grayson followed suit.
“Did Bats give you steroids Dickie-Bird?”
“This is crap! I’m the freaking shortest, but on this Earth I’m suddenly tall? Not fair.”
“You know his costume kinda looks familiar…no…you…his costume is exactly like mine except I have a red bat on my chest and he has that little Nightwing do-hickey. If he were to put a jacket on we would be—“
“What?” Tim snorts. “Brothers?”
Jason glared at him. “Who asked for your opinion, Replacement?”
“Wait,” the other Grayson finally stepped in. “Jason?! Is that you?” he asked taking a step closer to Jason.
“Wha—get off of me!” the other Grayson grabbed onto Jason and just hugged him.
“Jason! You were dead! Oh you scared me and Bruce sooooo bad! Don’t do that ever again, Jaybird. I love you. I missed you.” Jason opened his mouth like he wanted to protest, but he couldn’t find the words—instead he just stood there frozen in place.
“Jason?” the other Tim asked. He quickly got off the couch and hugged Jason too.
“We can be a family again,” the other Grayson sighed. “Bruce get in here!”
Jason’s eyes widened, “No. I will bear a hug with you two, but there’s no way in hell you’re going to get me to hug him,” Jason tried to push the two boys off of him, but there was no hope.
Batman walked into the room. Jason sent Dick, Tim, and Damian one last plea. They all just smirked—Tim pulled out his cell phone to take a couple pictures of the Kodak moment. “Jason…?” Batman gasps before rushing in to encase all three of them in a hug.
Jason looked like he was about to cry from all the human contact.
“That’ll teach you to try and corrupt mini-me again.”
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- misssaintan said: LAST NIGHT MUST HAVE BEEN A GOOD NIGHT. I MISSED EVERYTHING. Pfft. adoption. Satanic robins. “Did they skip me? Am I dead?” THIS IS WHAT ALL OF US YJ-ERS ARE ASKING TOOOO :flailing:
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